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Women are different to men... They have a different role in society

• Subject: Women are different to men... They have a different role in society
• From: Douglas F
• Date: Fri Jun 09 22:13:24 1995
• Message-Id: id510

Dear Douglas,

Thank you agin for your comments.

I have read your reply and appreciate your views. It is true that we are now in a
completely different social situation than before and to spread Krishna
consciousness some different attitudes may be required...

But we can't "throw the baby out with the bath-water" so to speak.. The values you
are supporting in your presentation are those of the current American society and
are more or less mirrored everywhere now. America sets the lead and the world
follows... So naturally most people will hold views similar to yours. It is the
social norm. In fact to hold any other view would be socially very difficult. But
whether the "social norm" is correct. That is another question.

I have spent many years standing on the streets and talking to people about
Krishna and selling them magazines and books and I have noticed very few people

have individual opinions. It's amazing. People are very predictable. For example I
knew more or less how you would reply to the article I sent to you. You haven't
said anything I haven't heard many times before. It's the philosophy of the womans
lib movement. They've got it down to a fine art. All the arguments are off pat.
They can answer all the opposing questions... But so can every group who has
developed a philosophy about something. Look at the atheists on the net. They
attack the christians in a very predictable way.. The scientists have their
philosophy they respond in a predictable way.

It's not really communication. It's just about how well you can present the
arguments. I'm not really interested in repeating the same arguments over and over
again because I have also discovered that these people who have adopted their
philosophy are not really interested in questioning it. They, for one reason or
other, want to hold on to it even if you can prove they are wrong. We talk to the
born again Christians... but they never really listen... You can understand it
because we have our philosophy too and we don't really listen to them either...
It's a funny world...

So I was hoping to have a discussion on a higher level with you. Forget about the
"womens lib" philosophy for a while and look at where society is heading. I think
you are a responsible family man [I really don't know but it seems to me like
that] and I suspect you value the ideas of family life and the idea of continuing
it for the next generation.

You said in one of your previous letters that you think many people are "naturally
monogamous". So I suspect you see this as a good quality. But I don't think people
are "naturally momogamous". I also meet a lot of young people, and at least here,
in Australia, the tendancy for "fast sex" for pleasure is overpowering the
monogamous family style relationships in many cases... Womans Liberation has freed
the men from their traditional responsibilities. Many don't care any more.

I have a sister who met her husband when she was young and they married. She was
completely faithful to him and in all ways a very good wife. They have two
daughters and Helen is pregnant with another child and Peter has just decided he's
bored so he's got up and left her. So now there she is.. single mother, two
children and another on the way... He broke her heart. She didn't have sex with
anyone before him, she was in all ways a good wife.. But Peter was bored. And our
Australian system encourages people to separate. Helen is working and gets a
reasonable salary and Peter wanted to go to university to study (and party too I
think). We have TEAS (Tertiary Education Assistance Scheme) here. The government
pays you about $600 a month to go to Uni.. But it is means tested so he couldn't
get it if he stayed with Helen... So he's just left his wife and children and gone
off to conquer more women, get a better, education, get a better job... And that
is OK by our society. He's not done anything wrong. But it has made Helen's life
very difficult and has broken her heart...

This wouldn't have happened before the woman's lib days.. I wonder if it is not
really the men who have become liberated..

My point is whatever has happened, whatever direction society has headed, it is
wrong.. Your idea that "most people are naturally monogamous" is sentimental. We
are looking at a future society without family life. Your government is moving to
institutionalize child-raising. We are seeing it already here. Now in so many
families the mother and father are working and the kids are in child-care from 7
in the morning till 7 at night. The child-care centers are opening on the weekends
here as well now so the parents can put their kids in over the weekend as well so
their "lifestyle" won't be impacted too much. They can have their posh dinner
parties and so on without having the kids under their feet...

Now You may say that this is not general, but I am seeing it is a very popular
trend... That is the way society is going. Is it good? I am interested in your
thoughts because these are _VERY_ important issues..

As far as the Indian model, it is a very good time-proven one. You have quoted
some ugly sides of Indian culture which certainly exist and are becoming more and
more prominent. It is a great pity. They are also interested in following the
"American" way. But the bad side you have quoted is not part of Vedic culture. I
have lived in many Indian families houses and life is very good there for
everyone, including the women. They have "extended families". Generally the
father, the mother, the sons, their wives and children all live in one big house.

It is very different from our western style. Generally each couple has their own
bedroom but the rest of the house is the families. There is a "head man" and he
looks after the finances and is the ultimate authority in the house and the women
and the men have clearly defined separate roles. The first time I went to India it
was on a student exchange program with Rotary and we were travelling from town to
town and staying with the Rotary members there.

At that stage I was like you. I was pushing the womens lib ideas... I was talking
to the women about all these things but they were not interested, they were very
happy. And they are much happier than our women... So it is a practical time-
tested social system. But the women's lib system is not. Where it will lead us I
don't know but the direction we are heading in now certainly does not seem to be a
good one...

Looking forward to your reply.

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