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Dear Vipramukhya Swami Maharaja
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Thank you for the message and I am very happy that you came across my WWW
page. I have been very pleased with the response from it. At the moment I
am not so happy with the pages. I have just loaded up some files I already
had on my computer. But even so it is getting more than 1,000 access per
week and I also get a little mail from it too. I have been concentrating
on the news system really, but the WWW is probably, in many ways, a better
way to get our message across. There is great potential for preaching.
I am based in Australia and have peen preaching here and travelling as
well for the last ten years. I have been sometimes in ISKCON and sometimes
out of ISKCON. Srila Prabhupada saved me. Otherwise my life was completely
disasterous. I was just going down the sense-gratification path and
destroying my body and mind, and then, by the mercy of one Mataji in
London who was distributing books in Oxford Street I got a copy of the
"Higher Taste". I read it and it changed my ideas about Krishna
consciousness. Then I joined 12 months latter in Australia after reading
many of Srila Prabhupada's books.
In those days the "Zonal Acarya" system was going strongly and everyone
here was worshipping Bhavananda, but I couldn't get in to it. His
preaching wasn't consistent with Srila Prabhupada's books and he couldn't
answer my questions. When I voiced my doubts about Bhavananda (then
"Visnupada") I was called a demon and thrown out of ISKCON for the first
time. This was just one week after I had decided to dedicate my life to
try and do something for Srila Prabhupada!
So I decided to go to India to find the "advanced devotees". I didn't
consider the Australian devotees "demons", I knew they were very sincere,
but I thought they had been fooled by Bhavananda and that he was not
really qualified as guru. As it happened there were no flights to India
from Perth the next day and I just wanted to go somewhere and get back
into a temple so there was a flight to London and I went on that.
I went to the Soho Street temple and was promptly taken to Bhaktivedanta
Manor for the "Bhakta Program". It was Krishna's arrangement, I can see
that now, for at that time the Manor's Bhakta program was booming. I was
on it for about a month and we were busy every day. There was one Bhakta,
Bhakta Richard, [now Radhastami dasa] who was so enthusiastic. He was
getting up at two thirty in the morning! So, because of his inspiration,
most of us also got up at two thirty. It was a nice program. The Manor was
also booming, about 40 brahmacaris and at least one hundered devotees at
mangal aroti.
We were helping in the kitchen, cleaning the temple, washing the pots,
then we would go into Soho Street and have a Hari-Nam in London for about
an hour handing out invitations for the lunch program at the temple. Then
we came back to the temple for Their Lordships Sri Sri Radha London
Isvara's aroti. There was a short and sweet Bhagavad-gita class and then
we would all preach to the guests for a while. Then we went back to the
Manor and had a couple of hours for reading or rest. There was another
class [from Nectar of Instruction and other books] at 5.00 and then a
snack. It was usually fruit and some small thing. There wasn't much
prasada in the evenings, but we had a good breakfast and lunch! It was
nice. Then at seven everyone [at least all the bhakta's an some other
devotees as well] was in the temple for Guara-aroti. Then we had a
Bhagavad-gita class. So we were getting four classes every day!
[Bhagavatam in the morning, Bhagavad-gita at Soho St, NOI in the afternoon
and Bhagavad-gita again in the evening].
My favorite day was Saturday for we would go on Hari-Nam from 10:00 in the
morning until 9:00 at night! During the day we would go from suburb to
suburb, spending about one hour in each chanting Hare Krishna Hare
Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare/ Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare
Hare. It was amazing. There was no lunch prasad, and none of us missed it
either! We would arive at Soho Street at around six o'clock and associate
with the devotees, then at seven there would be a huge Guara-aroti which
would come out onto the strees of London and become the most amazing
experience I have ever had. It was a huge Hari-Nam with more than 100
enthusiastic devotees. It was truly incredible, thundering through Soho
and central London... We would arrive back at the temple just in time for
the conchshell signaling the start of the 9:00 aroti and the Hari-nam
would continue in the temple...
Also I liked the festival days. We didn't go out, we stayed in the temple
and the morning kirtana just kept going until the feast was served at
around one or two in the afternoon! So it was nice.
I also had problems with Bhagavan, but [fortunately] he fell-down one week
after I arrived in London. Had this not happened I am sure the "powers who
think they are the powers that be" in ISKCON London would have thrown me
out. But Sri Sri Radha London Isvara looked after me. Eventually Siva Rama
Swami did throw me out of the Manor and he rang all the other temple
presidents warning them about this demon "Bhakta Michael". But I just went
to Soho Street and Ranchor Prabhu, the then temple president took mercy on
me and let me stay.
I worked in the kitchen helping Bhakta Stan [now Sanatana Gosvami Prabhu]
and he taught me so many things. I was very comfortable in that service.
Chopping vegetables, setting up the lunch program, serving the guests,
cleaning the temple, etc. I only had to see the snow through the windows
and the temple was nicely heated!
But then Doyal Nitai, who was the sankirtana [book distribution] leader
wanted me to go on book distribution. I knew it was a good idea and that
Srila Prabhupada wanted it... But I couldn't imagine how I could ever do
it. It seemed impossible to me. I was just not the type of person who
would go up to complete strangers on the street and stop them and sell
them books. But Doyal Nitai was very persuasive and he got me out on the
cold London streets. I will never forget one of the first mornings I was
standing in a deserted and bitterly cold shopping mall and he was
"training me up". He said, "You have to come to consider the street is
your home..." I was shocked. But, more or less I accepted it and followed
his instructions, reluctantly at first, but then, to my amazement people
actually started to buy the books, so I started to take Doyal Nitai's
instructions a little more seriously.
Altogether I stayed in London for about six months, then I went to the
Mayapura festival for the first time (1987), then I spent about a month at
the Bhaktivedanta Institute in Bombay and became very ill. Then I went
back to Australia to recover and moved in to the Melbourne temple. I was
an outspoken critic of many things but the temple president, Balarama
Prabhu and their Lordships Sri Sri Radha Balhaba took mercy on me. Balaram
was a strong leader but he almost never threw anyone out of the temple who
was sincerely serving. I very much admire him for this. I gave him more
than enough reason to throw me out, but he only encouraged me in my
service. He sent me out on the street every day to distribute Srila
Prabhupada's books [they were giving them out free then - I didn't agree
with it, I was saying we should sell the books, but I was giving out
thousands of books a day anyhow and preaching like anything on the streets
of Melbourne]. Eventually I heard there was a temple president in Sydney
who would actually let you sell the books! So I packed up and went to
Sydney. I thought Balarama Prabhu would have ben pleased to see me go, but
he was not, he was thanking me for my service and encouraging me to stay
on in Melbourne... So I was amazed.
In Sydney the temple president was Pratapana Prabhu. He was full-on into
so many business things but as soon as I said I wanted to sell Srila
Prabhupada's books he was more than pleased to give me the books and send
me out on the street. I also gave him many reasons to throw me out, but he
never did. He just kept giving me the books and sending me out to
distribute them. The first day I tried to distribute books in Sydney I
went out to George Street in my dhoti and kurta and was happily selling
Prabhupada's books and a council inspector came up to me and told me I was
not allowed to sell the books anywhere in Sydney. It had never happened to
me before. I just didn't think they would do anything like that. So I
packed up and went back to the temple and told Pratapana what happened and
he said, "Don't worry about it. Just go out again and forget it ever
happened." I was stunned. How could you just ignore the city council
officers? But anyhow I did it and have been distributing books there for
the last eight years or so and the council and police rarely bother me.
Since then I have traveled and distributed books, sometimes the temple
presidents throw me out and sometimes not. At the moment they have thrown
me out so I have to preach by myself. Last year I printed six issues of
BTG and sold about 30,000 of them in Sydney. Finally the BBT got a little
heavy with me so they forced me to change my program. Now I am preaching
on the internet. So I have to preach, I have to serve Srila Prabhupada. I
would much prefer to do it within ISKCON but if they throw me out I can
not stop preaching.
Sorry, I have gone on a bit, but you know a little of my background now. I
really feel great separation from the Deities and the devotees and miss
the temple program and everything... But what can be done about that?
Srila Prabhupada is my spiritual master but "the powers who think they are
the powers that be" in ISKCON say Srila Prabhupada died in 1977 and can no
longer take disciples. So that is the problem. But I can't give up Srila
Prabhupada. He is everything to me.
Thank you for writing and giving me a chance to talk about these things.
We have a great responsibility to the world. Srila Prabhupada has given us
the knowledge and the process how to solve everyone's problems and
transform this world. It is the only hope. Otherwise everyone is heading
directly to hell. So we should take it seriously. If we take it seriously
the preaching will be very effective but otherwise ISKCON will just die
and someone else will have to do the preaching.
Please don't take offense at anything I have written. My desire is to see
ISKCON as a powerful force in the world, "Changing the Face of the Earth",
but if ISKCON is going to be successful things have to change a little and
when you suggest changes you become unpopular. People become attached to
the status-quo. But unless ISKCON changes it will die.
Looking forward to your response.
Your servant
Madhudvisa dasa .
Hare Krishna!
Your servant,
Madhudvisa dasa
(madhudvisa@krishna.org) /sudarsana
All glories to His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada!
Sudarsana Home madhudvisa@krishna.org