Published on August 24th, 2024 | by HDG A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
21Combination of Male & Female through Marriage
In whole world there is combination of male and female, either… Any society, human society, or bird society or dog society or animal society. Why this male and female? Why? Female is the energy, energy of the male. Why a man takes, marries a woman and takes responsibility…? Of course, in your country they marry as a matter of joke, immediately divorce after week or after seven days. But marriage means to take full responsibility of a woman. That is real marriage, Vedic marriage.
Room Conversation
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October 20, 1968, Seattle
Prabhupada: …the whole atmosphere, you should come and disturb. You are making… You cannot understand? And the whole attention is diverted to you. So hara, hara is the form of the word… Hare is the form of the word hara when address, when She is addressed. And Krsna, when He’s addressed, the form does not change. This is grammatical rule. So Hare Krsna means, “Oh, the energy of Krsna, or energy of the Lord,” and Krsna, “the Lord.” So Hare Krsna. Hare Krsna means I am praying not only to the Lord, but to the energy also. This is natural.
Just like a man and woman. In whole world there is combination of male and female, either… Any society, human society, or bird society or dog society or animal society. Why this male and female? Why? Female is the energy, energy of the male. Why a man takes, marries a woman and takes responsibility…? Of course, in your country they marry as a matter of joke, immediately divorce after week or after seven days. But marriage means to take full responsibility of a woman. That is real marriage, Vedic marriage.
We, when I get married our boys and girls, the boy takes this vow that “I take responsibility of your maintenance throughout your whole life,” and the girl promises that “I desire to serve you throughout my whole life.” So the woman, the female, is the energy. When a man comes at home, he sees that everything is nicely decorated, my wife is well-dressed and foodstuff is nicely prepared, he becomes encouraged. He can work more nicely. Therefore woman is the energy. The woman gives the energy and he can work. Wherefrom this idea came?
The idea came because it is originally here, janmady asya yatah [Bhag. 1.1.1]. Everything is coming from the Supreme; otherwise where do you get this idea? Sarvam khalv idam brahma. Without being in the origin? Bijo ‘ham sarva-bhutanam, Krsna says that “I am the root of everything.” So if this energy, male and female combination, is a necessity, so wherefrom this necessity came into existence unless it is there in the origin?
Therefore it is to be understood that the Absolute has energy. He has got different energies. By His energies He is acting, and that is confirmed in the Vedic sutra, parasya saktir vividhaiva sruyate. The Supreme Absolute Truth has multi-energies. Parasya saktir vividhaiva sruyate, multi-energies. And svabhaviki jnana-bala-kriya ca, and by His energies he’s working in such a nice way that it appears that it is being automatically done. Just like this tape recorder is working. How it is working? The electric energy is there. By the electric energy the machine is so nicely working that when it is replayed exactly I am speaking.
So energy is working. I am speaking, my speaking energy is acting, electric energy is helping. This machine energy is accepting and a nice thing is coming. Similarly, the whole cosmic manifestation is the manifestation of the energies. The rascals, they do not understand. And when it is stated that everything is Brahman, that is to be understood that everything is working under the energy of the Supreme Brahman. That is real meaning. But this is simultaneously one and different. When this tape recorder will play, it will play exactly I am speaking to you. There will be no difference of voice.
If somebody hears from other room, he’ll understand that Swamiji’s speaking, but still, that speaking is different from me. Because my energy is working there. Similarly, there are two kinds of energies. Just like when I am speaking, this is my real energy, and when this tape recorder will speak, that is also my energy, but that is separated energy. Similarly, this material manifestation is separated energy, and there is direct energy. The direct… This material energy, separated energy, is the reflection of the direct energy.
Just like when this tape recorder will be replayed it is the reflection of my original speech. Similarly, this material manifestation is a reflection of the original energy, internal energy. Therefore in the Bhagavad-gita it is stated that perverted reflection. urdhva-mulam adhah-sakham [Bg. 15.1], perverted, a tree. This cosmic manifestation is compared just like a tree with root upwards. That means perverted. Have you seen a tree upwards, root?
Jahnava: I’ve heard an analogy to that before.
Prabhupada: Yes. So this material world is perverted reflection of the original energy. So this “Hare” means we are directly approaching the original energy of the Supreme Lord. “Please accept me, under You. Now I am under reflection. I am trying to get substance from the reflection.” Suppose a tree is reflected by the bank of a river, the exact. So if somebody dives into the river and tries to take fruit from that tree, it will not be possible because that is reflection. One has to go to the real tree. So we are hankering after life, we are hankering after pleasure, but we are seeking pleasure in the reflection, maya.
Therefore we are frustrated, confused. Therefore this prayer is to the original energy. Without energy, without energy the Lord is not without energy.
Radha-Krsna, Laksmi-Narayana, Sita-Rama. So God is always with energy. Without energy, he is incomplete. Sun without sunshine is incomplete. Is it possible? Can one think of sun without sunshine? Similarly, the Mayavada theory that the absolute is without energy, there is no energy, absolute is… They have misunderstood. The energy is not different from the energetic. Just like sunshine is not different from the sun, neither the sunshine has got any existence without the sun, nor the sun can exist without sunshine.
They are so intimately related. Similarly, the Lord and the energies are so intimately related, they cannot be separated, but they are not one. This is the whole philosophy. So we are praying to the original energy, Hare Krsna. Because energy and the energetic, Radha-Krsna. Radha-Krsna, They are not separate, but it is pleasure.
When They are separated, Radha and Krsna, that is energetic, that is giving impetus. Just like the man and the woman, they come from the same source, but one body is energetic to the other. Man is energy to the woman. Woman is the energy to the man. Why the creation is not one kind of? Why there is fair sex? They’re coming from the same womb of the mother. Why not one, boy only? Why girl? Why nature has provided like that? Let simply boys come. No. It is required.
But the whole thing is perverted reflection. Here the man, woman, the energy… It is simply… But by this, one can understand the reality. Just like the shadow, the five fingers. One person who is not misled, he can understand that the original palm has five fingers, although he cannot see it. From the shadow. Similarly, from this energy, work of the energy in this material perverted reflection, one can understand that there is a reality.
In the reality, in the abode of Krsna, the same things are there, the same trees are there, the same things are there, but they are original, personal energy. And here, they are simply imitation or perverted reflection. Not imitation. The exact word is perverted reflection. The same example. Just like a tree on the bank of a river is reflected obverted, the root upwards and the branches downwards. So this world is like that, and that is described in the Fifteenth Chapter of Bhagavad-gita. So one has to learn all these things. Everything is there. (end)
Hare Krishna Prabhu,
I have been an ardent devotee of Srila Prabhupada and KC for years now. And I still love the association. A lot. However, having reached the age of marriage, in search of a boy to spend my life with.
I came across a boy who is inclined to KC. And he truly understands me and has been there for me in my saddest phases, boosted my self confidence in several ways. There is a gulf of difference in both our financial and education standards where I did much better by my own efforts. But I was willing to put aside everything to marry him.
However he insists that we can marry only after he gets to sleep with me. I grew up in a culture where this is looked down upon. And I don’t really want it. But he insists to sleep before marrying and we love each other. I have never met a person like him who has helped me so much in life and really don’t wish to miss him. But neither do I want to give up the KC principles.
Please help me on what I should do.
I guess the reply is too late. Very sorry for that.
But you know, of course, what is the answer.
The answer is you have to remain chaste and that is a very attractive quality for a women.
So I do not know how it worked out but whatever has happened, one way or the other, this idea that we will become happy in the material world by meeting the perfect mate, it is just an illusion. It never works out very well.
So this age of Kali, it is an ocean of faults, but there is one great benefit, we can easily become liberated simply by chanting Hare Krishna.
So that is the main thing, we need to become Krishna conscious and if you did marry him then together you can chant Hare Krishna and if you did not marry him then you still chant Hare Krishna, and if we simply work on this, chanting Hare Krishna, reading Srila Prabhupada’s books, following the regulative principles, then automatically the material aspects of our life will also fall into place.
Hare Krishna Prabhuji!
Please accept my humble obeisances.
What is the duty of a person if he does not marry? And if one marries should he look for a devotee or should not look for a devotee and take the risk of turning a non-devotee into a devotee at a stage when one is himself struggling hard to become properly situated in Krishna Consciousness?
Hare Krishna Aman
Duty is same for married and unmarried, to serve Krishna.
If you can find a girl who is also interested in becoming Krishna conscious that is the best thing obviously. Husband and wife should help each other in their advancement in Krishna consciousness. So if you preach to people around your area by distributing Srila Prabhupada’s books you will gradually meet some people around your area who are also interested in becoming Krishna conscious. So in this way you may be able to meet some girl also who you could marry and together help each other advance in Krishna consciousness.
There is really no point in getting married with someone who does not have this idea, that the purpose of the marriage is to help each other advance in Krishna consciousness and to bring some nice Krishna conscious children into the world and raise them as devotees of Krishna…
So I think if you preach, distribute Srila Prabhupada’s books, chant Hare Krishna more, follow the regulative principles, etc, Krishna will give you inspiration what to do in this regard…
Chant Hare Krishna and be happy!
Madhudvisa dasa
Hare Krishna Prabhuji!
Thank you very much. I will do as you have said and hopefully I will get a nice devotee wife only. Because as of now I have fear that I will not be able to even chant 16 rounds after my marriage if my wife is a non-devotee. Hare Krishna!
Yes. We don’t want to associate with non-devotees, so having a non-devotee wife would be very inconvenient. So if that is what you want then I am sure Krishna will arrange a nice devotee wife if that is His plan. Real thing is we should pray to Srila Prabhupada and Krishna to ‘please engage me in your service…’ So the idea is we should do what they want us to do. So we have to try and find out what that plan is that Prabhupada and Krishna have to us. They will reveal it to us if we keep on reading Srila Prabhupada’s books and chanting at least 16 rounds of the Hare Krishna mantra every day and strictly following the four regulative principles…
We really, really have to read all of Srila Prabhupada’s books. Reading Prabhupada’s books is our connection with Prabhupada. He spent so much time and energy writing his books. So we have to at least read them… It may be that they seem uninteresting to us in the beginning. But we hae to force ourselves to read Prabhupada’s books. The more we read them the more Krishna consciousness will be revealed to us and the more we will understand what Srila Prabhupada and Krishna actually want us to do for them…
Yes Prabhuji….I’m only praying to Srila Prabhupada to engage me in his service.
I’m again not able to follow all your advises regularly Prabhu. But by Srila Prabhupada’s mercy (you are also Srila Prabhupada’s mercy for us) I have got some attachment and interest in reading his books, listening to his lectures, conversations, bhajans, etc and that much I do everday. Somedays I simply listen to Srila Prabhupada for many hours. I hope to reach the beginning platform soon and stay there and increase my devotional services and get to know what Srila Prabhupada and Lord Krishna want me to do.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Hari bol!
All glories
Hare Krishna Prabhu!
As I’m reading Srila Prabhupada’s books more and more I’m finding that it is treasure house of all beautiful things and I’m getting to know what Prabhupada wants me to do. I’m sure if I continue to read Guru Maharaja Prabhupada’s books he will guide me and let me know what he wants me to do. Then I will become his puppet. All things said by you are coming true as I try to follow your instructions more and more.
Hare Krishna!
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
It is very good news Prabhu. Keep on reading Srila Prabhupada’s books, chanting Hare Krishna and only accept Krishna prasadam, and keep on doing these things no matter what happens. Trying to become Krishna conscious in the material world is declaring war on maya and she will fight back and will put so many problems and obstacles on our path. So we have to expect that and never give up.
Hare Krishna Prabhu!
As I follow these instructions of yours more and more I’m getting to know what Prabhupada wants me to do. I will try to read his books more and more and do what he says to realize his and Lord Krishna’s plan for me.
Hare Krishna!
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Hare Krishna Prabhuji!
Thanks prabhuji for enlightening me with this article. I want to know further prabhuji whether a devotee man should marry a devotee girl if both love and want to marry each other but due to some biological reason she can not become a mother in future ???
Your servant
Shubham
Point of marriage is to serve Krishna. So if husband and wife want to come together to serve Krishna then that is great. So yes. If both are serious about Krishna consciousness and both like each other and are prepared to help and support each other in their attempts to become Krishna consciousness then why not get married. It is hard to find a sincere devotee who wants to marry you so if you have found one it is probably best to marry her. Of course you want children but you can also adopt children if for some reason your wife is not able to become pregnant.
So the material considerations are not so important. The point is to become Krishna conscious and to have a partner who also wants to become Krishna conscious and who you can get along with and who will support you and help you in your efforts to become Krishna conscious.
Chant Hare Krishna and be happy!
Madhudvisa dasa
Hare Krsna!
All glories to Srila Prabupadha!
I am 24 yrs old. I want to live a krishna consciousness life so I registered in devoteematch.com. I have gotten a marriage proposal from this matrimony & my family liked him. He too informed his mataji. Everything was fine except horoscope match. He told me that his ISKCON Guru’s were insisting to look for horoscope match. He has manglik dosha but I convinced my family that for krishna devotees, planet positions & other things could not do any harm as we are surrendered to THE KRISHNA.
Am I correct? If not please let me know.
And I waited for 2 yrs but no right match came so far. My mother wants me to register in other matrimony which is not for devotees. I myself really don’t want that life. I would like to utilise current life to advance & attain the Krsna.
So tell me what to do now whether I should marry a non devotee & lead a spiritual life or should wait for my Krsna ‘s mercy to marry a devotee?
Is horoscope match is really necessary for a successful marriage life?
Your servant,
Priyanka Ramasamy
Hare Krishna Priyanka
These days it is a difficult situation. The most important thing really for a devotee is to marry a devotee. Because the purpose of marriage should be husband and wife coming together with the primary goal of supporting each other in their Krishna consciousness and raising a family of Krishna conscious children. Really Krishna consciousness is an all-consuming thing. Devotees want to associate with devotees. So it must be somewhat difficult if you are a devotee and you marry a non-devotee. It is of course possible to be Krishna conscious in any situation but it is more favorable in the associaton of devotees.
If you want to raise your children as devotees this may become difficult if your husband is not a devotee.
Of course by your good association and by feeding him with sumptuous Krishna prasadam you may be able to influence even a non-devotee husband to become a devotee of Krishna.
Above everything else we need to surrender to Srila Prabhupada and Krishna and try to understand what is Krishna’s plan for us. We have this human form of life and it is a great opportunity to render service to Krishna. That is the main point of our lives. To serve Krishna. Of course we have to live in the material world and that side of our lives will be there as well. But our Krishna consciousness has to be the most important driving force behind everything we do.
I have also seen devotees who got married with people who were totally incompatible with them. And that really does not work very well either.
If it is proper astrologer then some favorable points on the astrology may be helpful. But there is no perfect match. There will always be problems in every relationship in the material world and we have to be ready for that also.
So ultimately I can not say what you should do. You understand your situation and my suggestion would be that you increase your chanting of the Hare Krishna mantra and increase your reading of Srila Prabhupada’s books and pray to Srila Prabhupada and Krishna to engage you in Krishna’s service and pray for inspiration from Krishna so you can understand what He wants you to do in this situation.
Chant Hare Krishna and be happy!
Madhudvisa dasa
Hare krishna,
My parents want that i should get marry. And i think if i marry a girl from my caste who is not connected with iskcon,then she may not adjust with me.so kindly suggest me how to go further.
hare krishna..
I want to ask you two question-my first question is-As you know that body is like a box for the soul,so it is useless after death,can soul chant hare krishna without body?I mean can it is possible to chant without body?
my second question is- what is the purpose of our birth as we can pray and please shri krishna without body too?
It is not possible to chant Hare Krishna presently without making use of the material body. But we can gradually uncover the spiritual body by chanting Hare Krishna, even within this material world…
Am I right?
No. Chanting Hare Krishna is not material and in the absolute position nothing is material. Everything is the energy of Krishna. What makes things material is forgetfulness of Krishna. If we are not forgetful of Krishna then there is nothing material. Everything becomes spiritual if it is engaged in the service of Krishna. The Hare Krishna mantra is not a material vibration. It is descending from the spiritual world.
Hare Krishna.
I would like to know whether I am worthy to ask Krishna to lead me with a Guru. I had characters like that of a prostitute. My mind always thinks rubbish. Because of my irresponsibility i was misused used by many men before marriage.I would like to know whether i should quit my life immedietley.My husband came to know about my past and feeling very bad.We both are undergoing emotional suicide already.Should this continue?
The person who introduced me to ISKCON told me to consider Prabhupada as my Guru.I couldnt discuss more about my distressed condition to her.
Is it enough if i just consider Prabhupada as a Guru and serve my husband. Or should i be guided with devotees practically. Or should i just quit my life as my husbands order for being an unchaste women?
It is a very critical question. Iam chanting but not with full concentration.
Iam unfit even to ask any questions, i would be extremely grateful if you could help me.It is not a question just for publishing but it is true incident.Please help me out.
Hare Krishna Mataji
Lord Caitanya is “patita pavana,” it means the saviour of the most fallen. So being fallen is certainly no disqualification from coming to Krishna consciousness.
Here in the material world we are all fallen. That is why we are here. So it is not surprising that there are so many sinful activities in our past. Past is not important, the present and the future are important. You should defiantly not quit your life. the human form of life is very special, it is a great gift for we can use it to understand Krishna and go back home, back to Godhead.
Certainly you should consider Srila Prabhupada as your guru. That is why we are distributing Srila Prabhuadpa’s books to everyone, because we want the people to accept Srila Prabhupada as thier guru. Prabhupada is living in his books. Reading Srila Prabhuapda’s books is personal association with Srila Prabhuapda. Any benefit that you could get by physical association with Srila Prabhupada you can get by reading his books, any question you could possibly ask, Srila Prabhupada has already answered it in his books.
So these are the important things, chanting the Hare Krishna mantra at least 16 rounds a day, strictly following the four regulative principles: no illicit sex life, no meat eating, no gambling and no intoxication, and read Srila Prabhuapda’s books and try to put the instructions you find there from Srila Prabhupada into practice in your day-to-day life.
In the begining it is not possible to chant with full concentration, that is quite natural. The chanting of the Hare Krishna mantra is purifying us even if we can not fully concentrate on it, and as we chant Hare Krishna more and more our concentration will improve.
So do not consider this idea at all of quitting your life. Simply change your mentality, give up the old ways and take on the new Krishna conscious ways. In one sense that is giving up your old life. But you give up your old life and take on a new Krishna conscious life in this same body. There is no need to kill the body. The body is not ours to kill. The body belongs to Krishna. He has given it to us and He wants us to use it for His service. He has some plan for us to use our bodies for Him. So to kill the body is a very big sin and if you do that you have to suffer greatly for that sin. Because although you can kill the body, you can never kill the soul. So, actually, if you kill the body things will just get worse. You will not solve any of the current problems and you will create more big sinful reactions.
The solution to this is Krishna consciousness. It is enough to be guided by Srila Prabhuapda by reading his books and to serve your husband. As you become more and more Krishna conscious your husband will apreciate that and he will also become more Krishna conscious by your good association. So it is an all auspicious thing. As a wife you have to serve your husband faithfully and as a spirit soul you need to develop your eternal relationship with Krishna by chanting Hare Krishna and reading Prabhuapda’s books.
Of course it is nice to have the association of the devotees but certainly it is enough to read Prabhuapda’s books, chant Hare Krishna and serve your husband.
Please just put these ideas out of your head and look forward to a better future. We are all sinful, we have all done so many terrible things in the past and this is in no way a disqualification for us in taking to Krishna consciousness. We need to repent and we need to vow not to do these sinful things again, and go forward chanting Hare Krishna and reading Srila Prabhuapda’s books.
Chant Hare Krishna and be happy!
hare krishna….
i read ur comment….and i think krishna love u so much…u know when we call krishna to help us….then think krishna want so…mean we are krishna’s dasa….so my friend don’t and never be sad…always remember that ur not alone…forget ur past…remember only that u just born and u fine a new life with krishna….u and ur husband can change ur life….so be happy always…i m always with u…
if u like talk more…u can mail me…my e-mail is…
my_krishna30@yahoo.com
hare krishna