Published on December 4th, 2022 | by


Prabhupada is Still Here and The Good Old Days Are Still Here

I was never separated from Srila Prabhupada, even though for many years I could not understand this, and thought that I alone had been rejected by Krsna, that I alone could not be a devotee, because Krsna didn’t want me, nor could I ever please my spiritual master.

I couldn’t understand how I had gotten trodden down so far, spiritually, after such dedication to the process for so long.


Dear Dinadayadri,

Please accept my most humble obeisances!

Thanks for another inspiring transcendental post.

The proof of the pudding is in the taste.

Although I didn’t have the great mercy of being in ISKCON in the years you speak of, I was reading his books and applying the process to the best of my understanding since 1970. So when I first found out that temples existed in 1975, it took me a month before I made my first visit. As I stepped over the threshold of Kisora Kisori mandir, I felt myself lifted out of material existence and tasted the tangible ecstatic transcendental pudding of Srila Prabhupada’s process of Krsna consciousness. I never walked back out of that portal, and for years I thoroughly relished all the flavours of pudding I could get my hands on. And despite all my ups and downs in the subsequent years, I never went back to my former unhappy state.

Over time, I watched the external deterioration of the structure become covered over with clouds of ever darker, thicker and gruesome poison, due to offenses, individual and collective. Eventually I became personally covered over, even after many years of sincerely trying to hang on, serve Prabhupada and contribute to purification and change towards the real transcendental message that was being lost, from within the society. I shared in the collective karma of being poisoned simply by so much contact, until I finally walked completely away in desolate despair.

But I was never separated from Srila Prabhupada, even though for many years I could not understand this, and thought that I alone had been rejected by Krsna, that I alone could not be a devotee, because Krsna didn’t want me, nor could I ever please my spiritual master. I couldn’t understand how I had gotten trodden down so far, spiritually, after such dedication to the process for so long. But one day I had a dream. I dreamt that I was in Mayapur temple, chanting in ecstacy, and Tulasi-devi was there, as were two ‘senior’ ‘fixed up’ devotees I knew personally. I woke up still chanting in ecstasy, and didn’t want to quit, and ever since, though I am not yet back to the standard, I always have a taste for chanting if I can get out of sluggishness and lethargy, which I still have to contend with, due to my being a conditioned soul who foolishly tried to take shelter of this material energy some long long births ago.

I thought deeply about the meaning of this dream. I greatly understood that there really was ‘no loss or diminution’. I concluded that those two devotees both fanatical, both so- called ‘fixed up’, and both having a serious case of ‘pure devotee syndrom’, but both had always seemed sincere to me, represented the pride I myself must work to weed out of my heart. I was fully aware that Krsna had just given me the greatest benediction; He literally gave me back the ability to chant, and it was pure causeless mercy. Additionally I learned from this that I am so very much not the doer, and that only, ONLY, by the mercy of the pure devotee, Srila Prabhupada, was I EVER able to chant the Holy Name or engage in any devotional service in the first place, so I have nothing to be proud about. I am fully dependent on his mercy.

And the dream had taken place in the same temple room where I first, for the only time, had Srila Prabhupada’s personal darsan for one Srimad Bhagavatam class.

Well, I hadn’t meant to write all that, but became enlived as I did, so I’ll post it. What I was getting at was that I wanted to show how I experienced the potency of the days you describe, even though outside the temple trying to become a devotee, and that when I finally did come to the temple, the spiritual potency was extremely tangible; the pudding was transcendentally delicious. And that, although that potency appeared to disappear over the years, it was, in the end, only a matter of time before Krsna showed me once again that He was always sitting in the tree with me, and it was only I that had to go through apparent dellusions in order to come to a time of additional purification to be able to taste the transcendental pudding again. And that is still the gift of Srila Prabhupada, and it will be forever, and it is still there, for anyone who reads his transcendental gems, as it always was and always will be. Whenever I drag myself out of lethargy and open the pages I am again swept up in Srila Prabhupada’s embrace. And I also believe that it is only time that separates us from the ‘external’ manifestation of Srila Prabhupada’s divine plan of Krsna consciousness, which includes, but is superior to varna-ashram dharma, for it is the most secret of all secrets, the hightest transcendental Truth. The Absolute Truth.

And what room is there for pride? Since all our devotional service completely depends on the mercy of Srila Prabhupada?

Well, I wrote all that just for me, as it enlivened me, so please don’t anybody think I am speaking with any desire to argue, nor am I actually directing my words at anyone but myself. And thank you Dina for inspiring me to get in touch once again with these most valuable of feelings.

Simply trying to cling to the lotus feet of the devotees, simply hoping that we can come to deeper and deeper levels of transcendental sharing,



About the Author

7 Responses to Prabhupada is Still Here and The Good Old Days Are Still Here

  1. Aman says:

    Hare Krishna Prabhu
    Please accept my humble obeisances
    All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

    How to increase attachment for Srila Prabhupada? I would like to become simply attached to him and nobody else. Is it possible?

    • Hare Krishna Aman
      The idea is to become Krishna conscious. Prabhupada is teaching us to become Krishna conscious. So we can not directly approach Krishna, we can only approach Krishna by finding a pure devotee of Krishna and surrendering to him and serving him.
      So yes, we have to become attached to Prabhupada, but Prabhupada is teaching us to become attached to Krishna. So the point is the more we become attached to Krishna the less we will be attached to maya. That is the way. If we increase our Krishna consciousness then our attachment to the material world will automatically decrease.
      But also if we want to make serious advancement, like Srila Bhaktsiddhanta used to say, according to Srila Prabhupada, something like “Don’t try to see Krishna but act in a way that Krishna wants to see you.” So the idea is we have to surrender to Srila Prabhupada and serve him, push on his mission. So we have to actually do something concrete, something practical, to push on Srila Prabhupada’s mission, and then when he sees that we are working very sincerely on his behalf to push on his mission, to awaken the dormant Krishna consciousness in the hearts of the conditioned souls, then Prabhupada will see us, and Prabhuapda will be pleased with us. That is the way:

      yasya prasādād bhagavat-prasādo
      yasyāprasādān na gatiḥ kuto ‘pi
      dhyāyan stuvaṁs tasya yaśas tri-sandhyaṁ
      vande guroḥ śrī-caraṇāravindam **

      “By satisfaction of the spiritual master, the Supreme Personality of Godhead becomes satisfied. And by not satisfying the spiritual master, there is no chance of being promoted to the plane of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. I should, therefore, meditate and pray for his mercy three times a day, and offer my respectful obeisances unto him, my spiritual master.”

      So we have to satisfy Srila Prabhupada. That is the key, so Prabhupada becomes attached to us. Yes, we have to become attached to Prabhupada, but Prabhuapda has to notice us and become attached to us also, because we have to please Srila Prabhupada to get the mercy of Krishna. So it means we have to do something actually that pleases Srila Prabhupada.

      Chant Hare Krishna and be happy!

      Madhudvisa dasa

  2. Aman says:

    Hare Krishna!
    All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

    Srila Prabhupada is personally present in his books and when we read them we will certainly realize it. Srila Prabhupada will guide us from his books and Krishna will guide us from within if we even begin to follow the Sadhana Bhakti- following the four regulative principles- no illicit sex, no meat-eating, no gambling, no intoxication, chanting 16 rounds of Hare Krishna Maha-Mantra, reading Srila Prabhupada’s books at least 1-2 hours a day. There is no need to join ISKCON or any other institution. We can certainly become pure devotee at home. We just have to become very, very serious to get the mercy of Srila Prabhupada.

  3. Aman Pandey says:

    Hare Krishna Madhudvisa Prabhu! I just visited Jayadvaita Swami’s personal website and saw “Satyam Param Dhimahi” written on top of his site. Very little to no signs of Krishna when I went through it. So I would like to suggest all Krishna devotees to stay away from him and his heavily edited books.

  4. Nishikanta says:

    Great story.My story is also similar to this.Krishna guides us all through His pure devotees.In my case it is Srila Prabhupada.

  5. SHYAM SINGH says:

    i want to be dearest one to lord Krishna. I have been worshiping and chanting hare Krishna mantra for many years but no result. i do n,t know what to do how to do to please & find Him love , affection & mercy. kindly help me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Back to Top ↑