Women In Krishna Consciousness–Questions & Answers
May 11, 2012 by visakha-devi-dasi
Filed under Society
The first step in spiritual understanding is to transcend the bodily concept of life. To think I am a man or I am a woman is to be in illusion. The body is a material dress for the soul, a dress that’s changing from moment to moment, as the body develops, and will change entirely at death. But the constant within the body is the soul, which is not subject to any of these changes.
Q. Why should women be interested in Krishna consciousness?
A. So they can realize they’re not women! If we think of ourselves as “women,” we reveal our ignorance of our actual identity. The word woman refers to the temporary material body, not to the eternal, spiritual soul, the person within the body. In maybe forty or sixty years, the body I’m wearing will perish, and I’ll no longer be a Woman. But the living force, the soul within the body, won’t perish. Krishna consciousness provides an understanding of the relationship between the soul and matter and the Supreme Soul, Krishna. Human intelligence is meant for contemplating these subjects, not for dwelling on materialistic thoughts based on a false identification with the temporary body.
Q. What do you think of the women’s liberation movement?
A. The highest liberation is to go back home, back to Godhead, and never again face the miseries of birth, old age, disease, and death. Although the women’s liberation movement may offer some worthwhile proposals, it generally ignores this highest goal. But by becoming Krishna conscious, a woman is liberated in this life and the next; so Krishna consciousness is the real women’s liberation movement.
Q. In the Krishna consciousness movement, what is the position of women devotees?
A. From the spiritual viewpoint, men and women (and all other living entities) are equal. The soul within the body is part and parcel of Krishna and is equal in quality and quantity to all other souls. But from the material, bodily point of view, obviously there are differences.
Q. What about those differences?
A. As far as serving Krishna and preaching Krishna consciousness, material differences are ignored. Men and women serve the Supreme Lord’s Deity form in the temple–worshiping, cleaning, cooking–and they go out daily to preach to interested people and distribute literature about Krishna consciousness. Women with children both care for their children and spread Krishna consciousness alongside their unmarried godsisters. Actually, to raise a child as a devotee of God is in itself a great service to Krishna.
Q. But I’ve heard that you think women are inferior to men. Is that true?
A. As I mentioned before, spiritually there’s no distinction. In Bhagavad-gita Krishna says that both men and women are eligible to attain the highest destination, to return to the kingdom of God, if they take shelter of Him. Spiritually there’s no duality, no inferiority or superiority based on the body and mind. But there are material differences: women are generally not as physically strong as men, but only women can bear children and nourish them with their breast milk. So it’s natural that women’s duties will differ from men’s in some ways.
Q. Today many people reject that idea. It won’t make your movement very popular among women.
A. We can’t change the Krishna conscious philosophy to make it popular. Nor are we so concerned with popularity. We simply want to present Krishna’s teachings as they are, and those who hear receptively will benefit. The first step in spiritual understanding is to transcend the bodily concept of life. To think “I am a man” or “I am a woman” is to be in illusion. The body is a material dress for the soul, a dress that’s changing from moment to moment, as the body develops, and will change entirely at death. But the constant within the body is the soul, which is not subject to birth, death, or any other material influence.
Q. How do men and women relate to each other in Krishna consciousness?
A. Except for his wife, a Krishna conscious man should regard every woman as he would his mother. So in Krishna consciousness the relationship between men and women is based not on lust but on mutual respect, with Krishna in the center. If this mentality is absent, men and women mix too freely, and their relationship may easily degrade into immorality and mutual exploitation.
Q. What about in more intimate relationships?
A. In more intimate relationships, the man protects the woman. In a woman’s youth, her father protects her; after marriage, her husband protects her; and later on in life her grown sons protect her.
Q. What do you mean, “protect”?
A. Protect from illusion and degradation. That is real protection. When the father, husband, and sons are fully trained in spiritual principles by the spiritual master, they are qualified to guide their family members.
Bhagavad-gita points out that when the religious tradition in the family breaks down, the chastity and faithfulness of women are shaken. As men and women mix freely, the result is abortion and unwanted progeny. From such immorality and licentiousness come broken homes and the degradation of the whole society. Conversely, when the husband is a dedicated devotee of God and the wife is loyal, good progeny and a harmonious society result.
Q. But what if the woman wants to be more than just a housewife?
A. That is welcome and encouraged. Women in the Krishna consciousness movement sing, write, photograph, paint, act, sculpt, teach, and dance. One of my godsisters in our West Virginia farm community is an architect. Now she’s helping plan out a huge temple that the devotees there will build over the next few years. So there’s no hindrance at all to a woman who wants to use her special talents to serve Krishna.
Q. Can women become leaders?
A. Real leadership is to teach by example and precept how to go back home, back to Godhead, at the end of this lifetime. A fully Krishna conscious devotee, whether man or woman, is actually more of a leader than all the so-called leaders of modern society. Materialistic leaders simply increase our material problems; a devotee decreases those problems to nil. That is real leadership.
VISAKHA-DEVI DASI, a graduate of Rochester Institute of Technology, is a professional photographer and an expert on photomicrography, in which small objects are reproduced as magnified images. She joined the International Society for Krishna Consciousness while doing free-lance work in India. She and her husband, also a professional photographer, are currently traveling around the world making documentary films about the Krishna consciousness movement.
Wonderful article! We are not women, we are spiritual beings! This is the real women’s lib!
Hari Bol
Elizabeth Grnanti
I was very happy to read this. I was raised Christian but love to chant and learn more about Krishna. I don’t know why but the last few years I’ve had a lot of anger issues with being a woman. It’s hard to explain but I just almost hate being a woman because of how I see women in the media and what the world seems to think of us. It’s just nice to read something like this. Thanks for posting.
Hare Krishna.
In the biography of Srila Gaura Kisora Das Babaji we can find the following:
The Householder Vow
One newly-married devotee and his wife once came to pray for the mercy of Srila Gaurakisora . Srila Gaurakisora said to the husband, “If you actually want to perform devotional service, you must live separately from your wife. Not depending on each other you can chant the Lord’s holy names.” After hearing the instructions the newly-wed devotee left and did as he was instructed A few days past, and he came again to Srila Gaurakisora, who asked, “Are you and your wife taking your meals together or separately?” The husband told him, “We are living separately and carrying on our worshop as you instructed, but we take our meals together.” Srila Gaurakisora then asked him, “What foodstuffs did you have today?” The newly-wed man answered, “We had very nice vegetables, the tastiest dhal, and fried eggplant.” Srila Gaurakisora added, “It is not enough to only give up your external connection with your wife, because you are internally associating with her. You have not been able to give up the finest tasty dishes prepared by your wife so how will you be able to worship the Lord? Your wife is communicating with you through the medium of the tasty dishes she has prepared. Shame on you! Although you are pretenciously acting as if you are chanting the Lord’s holy name, still you are desiring to taste the finest vegetables. Do you think that after a person suffers a loss of one million rupees, he will be satisfied by accepting only a handful of rice? Although he may gradually become accustomed to accepting the rice as a daily practice, he will always think about the money he lost. Even if you give such a person the nicest rice he will have no taste for it due to being in anxiety over what he has lost. Similarly, you have lost the most precious jewel of devotional service to the Supreme Lord. So, how can you become absorbed in simply eating nice foodstuffs? Externally you are disassociated from your wife yet you are maintaining internal attachment for her!”
Renunciation for Krsna’s Pleasure
A householder who was present during Srila Gaurakisora’s conversation with the newly-wed devotee asked Babaji Maharaja, “We see there are many Vaisnavas living together with their wives who perform service unto the Supreme Lord. Won’t there be any benefit for them?” Srila Gaurakisora replied, “The living entity is the eternal servant of the Supreme Lord Krsna, but in the conditioned state he cannot recognize this. He only sees the illusory form of his wife and children. If this is the case, then his vision is illusory. One who has no eyes to see through the medium of devotional service, can never realize his real identity as an eternal servant of Lord Krsna. The tendency to enjoy materialistically is always present in the association of one’s sons and wife. These days the householders who do not hear the topics of the Supreme Lord in the association of the Lord’s devotees, will become attracted to their wives and children and will not attain the spiritual energy revealed by the chanting of the holy name of the Lord.”
“Then again, some persons, like falsely renounced monkeys, act unattached towards their wives and children. Such householders are only making a show of renunciation. An actual Vaisnava in married life never enjoys sense gratification with his wife in any way whatsoever. He will always see his wife as a servant of Krsna and respect her as the representative of the spiritual master. Those householders, who actually desire to purely worship the Supreme Lord, yet are weak-hearted due to their attachment to wives and offspring should always associate with the advanced devotees, Maha-bhagavatas. By hearing the glories of the Lord they can quickly become free from their exploitative intelligence towards the family. Gradually they will realize that full surrender to Lord Krsna is the highest benefit for the spirit soul. Body consciousness obstructs self surrender and the causeless mercy of Lord Hari. An extended form of bodily awareness is depicted as attachment for wife and children.”
Best regards.
Hare Krishna Dandavats.
In the biography of Srila Gaura Kisora Das Babaji Maharaj we findthe following:
The Householder Vow
One newly-married devotee and his wife once came to pray for the mercy of Srila Gaurakisora . Srila Gaurakisora said to the husband, “If you actually want to perform devotional service, you must live separately from your wife. Not depending on each other you can chant the Lord’s holy names.” After hearing the instructions the newly-wed devotee left and did as he was instructed A few days past, and he came again to Srila Gaurakisora, who asked, “Are you and your wife taking your meals together or separately?” The husband told him, “We are living separately and carrying on our worshop as you instructed, but we take our meals together.” Srila Gaurakisora then asked him, “What foodstuffs did you have today?” The newly-wed man answered, “We had very nice vegetables, the tastiest dhal, and fried eggplant.” Srila Gaurakisora added, “It is not enough to only give up your external connection with your wife, because you are internally associating with her. You have not been able to give up the finest tasty dishes prepared by your wife so how will you be able to worship the Lord? Your wife is communicating with you through the medium of the tasty dishes she has prepared. Shame on you! Although you are pretenciously acting as if you are chanting the Lord’s holy name, still you are desiring to taste the finest vegetables. Do you think that after a person suffers a loss of one million rupees, he will be satisfied by accepting only a handful of rice? Although he may gradually become accustomed to accepting the rice as a daily practice, he will always think about the money he lost. Even if you give such a person the nicest rice he will have no taste for it due to being in anxiety over what he has lost. Similarly, you have lost the most precious jewel of devotional service to the Supreme Lord. So, how can you become absorbed in simply eating nice foodstuffs? Externally you are disassociated from your wife yet you are maintaining internal attachment for her!”
Renunciation for Krsna’s Pleasure
A householder who was present during Srila Gaurakisora’s conversation with the newly-wed devotee asked Babaji Maharaja, “We see there are many Vaisnavas living together with their wives who perform service unto the Supreme Lord. Won’t there be any benefit for them?” Srila Gaurakisora replied, “The living entity is the eternal servant of the Supreme Lord Krsna, but in the conditioned state he cannot recognize this. He only sees the illusory form of his wife and children. If this is the case, then his vision is illusory. One who has no eyes to see through the medium of devotional service, can never realize his real identity as an eternal servant of Lord Krsna. The tendency to enjoy materialistically is always present in the association of one’s sons and wife. These days the householders who do not hear the topics of the Supreme Lord in the association of the Lord’s devotees, will become attracted to their wives and children and will not attain the spiritual energy revealed by the chanting of the holy name of the Lord.”
“Then again, some persons, like falsely renounced monkeys, act unattached towards their wives and children. Such householders are only making a show of renunciation. An actual Vaisnava in married life never enjoys sense gratification with his wife in any way whatsoever. He will always see his wife as a servant of Krsna and respect her as the representative of the spiritual master. Those householders, who actually desire to purely worship the Supreme Lord, yet are weak-hearted due to their attachment to wives and offspring should always associate with the advanced devotees, Maha-bhagavatas. By hearing the glories of the Lord they can quickly become free from their exploitative intelligence towards the family. Gradually they will realize that full surrender to Lord Krsna is the highest benefit for the spirit soul. Body consciousness obstructs self surrender and the causeless mercy of Lord Hari. An extended form of bodily awareness is depicted as attachment for wife and children.”
Best regards.
hare krishna and love to all….
i like to talk with u all on krishna…if any friend like to talk on krishna…most welcome…my e-mail is….
my_krishna30@yahoo.com
hare krishna
wonderful article, i admire your strength and knowledge.
hari
Hare Krishna Prabhu,
According to the article written by Gaurasundara das ji above a man and a women should live separately after marriage even though they are newly wed. A man should not eat food prepared by his wife. Prabhu, then in that case there is no meaning to married life. A man after marrige is supposed to live with his wife and take care of her. He needs to act as her spiritual master if the wife is still a neophyte in spiritual life. A husband and wife means there will be some sort of bonding, loving caring relationship. Otherwise there is no meaning to married life. It just feels as if some strangers are living in the same house. Only since the husband shows loving care to the wife, the wife will feel protected and she supports the husband in his spiritual life and also follow him in spiritual path of Krishna consciousness.. In this way both husband and wife can make more and more progress in their devotional path of Krishna consciousness, chanting 16 rounds per day, strictly following the regulative principles, reading spiritual books on Krishna consciousness, preparing prasadam at home and eating only prasadam and not bhoga, listening to lectures of Prabhupad and devotees, association of devotees etc.
Another sentence i would like to ask you from the comments of Gaurasundara das ji- “we see there are so many vaishnavas living together with their wife and performing service unto Lord. wont there be any benefit to them?” Please reply to my questions soon prabhuji… Im in very much need of your answer because im in confusion..
Hare Krishna, dear Rajesh. AGTSP, PAMHO.
Srila Gaura Kisora Dasa Babaji was very radical here he say: “Although you are pretenciously acting as if you are chanting the Lord’s holy name, still you are desiring to taste the finest vegetables. Do you think that after a person suffers a loss of one million rupees, he will be satisfied by accepting only a handful of rice?”
The goal is chant Hare Krishna all the time, this was the order of Srila Gaura Kisora to Srila Bhaktisiddhanta.
I hope it helps, wish you the best.
according to the varnashrama dharma a man has to pass through grahastha stage. a man and women can live together and produce krishna conscious children.
i disagree with what gaursundara das has written saying- a married couple should live seperately. no. they should live together leading a regulated krishna conscious life and support each other in spiritual advancement.
Hare Krishna Sooraj
I do not know what Gourasundara has said but yes. Of course a married couple should live together. That is the point of getting married. In a Krishna conscious marriage the husband and wife are getting married to help each other advance in Krishna consciousness. Not for sense gratification. And they will bring nice children into the world and educate them about Krishna consciousness. That is the grhastha ashram. And of course the husband and wife have to live together…
Of course later on. After the children have grown up the husband may take varnaprastha and in this stage his wife may still accompany him as he tours the holy places of pilgrimage and spends the later part of his life coming closer to Krishna. There is no necessity, but he may take Sannyasa and only in that stage he must leave his wife and at that time the wife will go back to her sons and live with them.
But Sannyasa is not necessary and actually not recommended in this age. So husband and wife can stay together for their whole life and assist each other in serving Krishna.
Chant Hare Krishna and be happy!
Madhudvisa dasa
altough i am nt so pure to comment here but one devotee has given me the link so i want to give my comment on the gaursundra prabhuji post
of course gaur kishore babaji. i think gaur kishore babaji want to emphasis that a married couple should not engaged themselves in sense gratification and instead of considering themselves as wife and spouse, they should consider themselves as a devotee who is the representative of guru and a devotee of lord krishna . thus they both should respect themselves as devotees and should childrens in rhe family are not normal peoples they are unsuccsefful vaishnvas who have taken birth in the spritual family
so one should be thankful to god that they are getting chance to serve a vaishnav and if they all think like that then they will raise themselves from the material platform and if they will remain under the association of devotees and will follow the guru instructions then they definately they will go back to godhead
THank you for this article.
It is interesting to me because I am spiritual and seeking. I am a woman and I am deeply effected by materialistic life and the ideals that airbrushed into modern western society. It depresses me and crushes my spiritual connection. I find the Hare Krishna talk very intriguing yet I am cautious because some of the terminology is confusing to me. It would be great to find more articles like this one where it makes it easier to see how an ordinary person might be able to take on the Hare Krishna way of life.
Hazel
Hare Krishna Hazel
Any new thing we take an interest in will have new concepts and new terminology so there is no need to worry about that. If you just start reading Srila Prabhupada’s books then you will automatically come to understand the terminology very quickly. Actually really what you want is Srila Prabhupada’s books. They systematically present the science of Krishna consciousness in a easy to understand way that we can take on the Hare Krishna way of life in our day-to-day life.
It is a simple thing. Krishna consciousness is simply a change of consciousness. We transform our lives by doing things for Krishna instead of doing things for our self or our family, etc. And practically how to transform our lives so our every action is for Krishna, that is described in Srila Prabhupada’s books.
Right now I am having a very special offer of 16 essential books of Srila Prabhupada at a very low price and I would suggest you take advantage of this, get Prabhupada’s books and read them and the more you read the more you will understand and the more the beautiful and wonderful spiritual world will open up for you. This is a fact and it has been experienced by so many people. You simply read Prabhupada’s books and try to put into practice in your life the instructions you find there and your life will be wonderfully spiritually transformed…
You can get everything you need here:
http://krishnastore.com/prabhupada-library-h-krishna-1734.html
Hare Krishna to all.
AGTSP, PAMHO.
To clarify this debate I want to quote Srila Bhaktivinoda: “A grihastha-vaisnava who remains with his married wife in a detached mood is acting properly in the Vaisnava world, and this is not called “association with women.” The attachment of men for women and women for men is called yosit sanga. If a householder takes krishna-nama and gives up his attachments, then he will certainly attain the highest goal of life.” Jaiva Dharma
The symptoms of a sadhu are described as follows in Srimad-Bhägavatam 5.5.2-3 “The mahat or great souls are endowed with the following qualities: They see all jives with equal vision. They are fully peaceful because their intelligence is firmly fixed in Krishna. They are devoid of anger. They are well-wishing friends to all jivas. They are sadhus, meaning that they never consider others faults. They are firmly established in a loving relationship with the Supreme Lord, and they consider prema to be the supreme object of attainment. They do not consider any other object to be worthy of interest. They have no attachment for people who are absorbed in material enjoyment, nor for wife, children, wealth, or home. They have no desire to accumulate wealth beyond what is necessary to maintain their body for the service of Sri Krishna.”
Hare Krishna – Hare Krishna – Krishna Krishna – Hare Hare.
Hare Rama – Hare Rama – Rama Rama – Hare Hare.
Oh dear Radha I love Krishna.
Oh dear Radha I love Rama.
Please engage me in Your service.
In this case the quality of the chant is better than the quantity.
hare krishna….very nice article…